For the past four years I have been researching the key qualities needed in a leader.
Fed-up with the constant talk of “authenticity” and “bringing our whole selves to work” which emerged during the pandemic, I set out to discover what people really wanted from their leaders.
The result was my latest book Nobody Believes You: Become a Leader People Will Follow, in which I came to the conclusion that the key attribute of the most successful leaders is credibility.
Credibility itself is, I believe, made up of eight key practices – each of which I will outline in a separate blog post over the coming weeks.
In this blog I want to explore the practice of being supportive. We’ll look at what being a supportive leader really means, what happens when you’re not, and how to get better at it.
What does it mean to be supportive?
A supportive leader is one who creates the space for their employees to learn and grow.
They genuinely welcome all questions, contributions and challenges, and are truly interested in the success of each individual in the team.
They create a safe space for people to fail, speak up and ask for help. They also have humility in their style, and lead to serve others in a way that makes everyone feel they belong.
Why is it so important to become a more supportive leader?
During the course of my research it emerged that support was the main thing that people wanted from their leader. They needed to feel seen and heard, and that they had the backing of their bosses in order to feel confident and happy in their work.
Failure to get this right can cause real tension and undermine people’s self-worth, with chaotic effects.
Take the example of Jane* who I met during some of my consultancy work.
She was three weeks into her new role at a manufacturing firm when she told me “My boss is micromanaging me and I’m not getting anything right.”
I felt three weeks was a worryingly short space of time in which to end up feeling this way, so I asked Jane to expand more on what was happening to see if we could understand why these behaviours were happening and what could be behind it.
“I’ve been told I can’t email leaders in the business, everything I’m writing is being heavily edited before it can go anywhere, I’m being asked to create things I know nothing about which means I’m working weekends and long days, and it’s still not right,” she said.
Jane was frustrated. She was trying her best in a new role and just three weeks in we were talking about whether this was the right place for her.
What happens if you’re not supportive?
Everyone needs to feel supported in some way – it helps foster a sense of belonging in the organisation – but the level of support required will vary for each individual. What one person may view as helpful and supportive, another may feel is overbearing, so being mindful of this and getting the balance right is important.
Jane is a great example of what happens when support goes wrong, or simply isn’t there.
As we discussed the details of the interactions between her and her boss in the first three weeks, it was clear they were trying to be supportive in some ways, but not showing up in others. There had been no conversation about what each of them needed to succeed in her first few months in the role. This meant the ‘support’ she was receiving was feeling claustrophobic to Jane and she was starting to reject her leader.
If your team feel they are not being supported they will reject you as their leader. This might mean that people simply leave, but it can also show up as staff experiencing burn-out or feeling so overwhelmed that it’s impacting their wellbeing. Typical signs of this might be starting lots of tasks but not finishing them, taking a long time to complete things, or working extra hours over the weekend.
If you’re not supportive, people will feel more focused on tasks than relationships, they might not show up during times of crisis or busy periods, they will feel excluded and they won’t be speaking up.
How do we build it?
People want to know their boss “has their back”. This was a phrase that came up several times in my research.
It sounds simple, but supporting your team members publicly and demonstrating your trust in them will go a long way to ensuring there is a connection, and not rejection.
These are my three top tips for making people feel supported.
- Make it safe to fail: You need to make it ok for things not to go right all of the time and ensure this is backed up with opportunities to learn and move forwards. Give people space to fall and catch them. Maybe find a way to discuss failures in the team meetings so they become more ‘normal’.
- Be clear about expectations: Make sure people know what you mean and what you expect, and ask them what support they need.
- Live to serve: Show people that you are leading them in order to help them be the best they can be and to enable them to do what they need to succeed. Think about how you can best support them to help them get things done, and demonstrate this.
Ultimately, being supportive as a leader means making time for the people you lead. It can be very easy to say you’re too busy and, often, teams will accept this because of the power you have as their leader. Making time to demonstrate you care and are available to listen can help to prevent that sense of detachment and resentment from your team.
You can hear more about how to be a supportive leader in this episode of the Redefining Communications with Jenni Field podcast.
To find out more about my research into credibility and my book click here. Or you can find out how credible you are with our free Credibility Gap Assessment here.
